Conceiving Edward
by Belts
Summary: Set in the early 1900's ... Edward's parents go to the opera.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

**Chapter One of Four**

**Edward looked out at the beautiful, sweeping scenery and sighed. The countryside was that of England. Edward had surprised Bella when producing two plane tickets for a romantic holiday. Throughout the few days that their holiday had lasted Edward could almost smell the passion wafting from their gorgeous honeymoon suite.**

**Currently, Bella had gone to dine and Edward was left sitting by the large bay side window, lost in thought. Edward's face was filled with sorrow and his head was in his hands. The door to their room slowly creaked opened and voices drifted through the room. Edward didn't move an inch.**

**"I hope the food was satisfactory, miss."**

"Oh, the chicken was fabulous," Bella's voice replied.

"Enjoy your stay."

The door closed, and Bella glanced at Edward. She knew something was wrong, but she was exhausted and sprawled herself on the bed.

Edward stood up and walked towards the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Faintly, Bella heard dry sobs. Now, she was worried. She heaved herself off the bed and waddled toward the door, for she was incredibly full.

"Edward," Bella cooed.

There was no reply.

"Edward, open up!" Bella yelled, banging loudly on the door.

There was a minute of silence and finally the door clicked open. Bella threw herself on Edward and whispered in his ear, "Edward, my love, what's wrong?"

Edward pulled away from Bella and looked down at the floor.

"Bella, I want to know ... how I was made."

"Carlisle made you, sweets."

"No. I mean when I was human."

"Oh. Well you see Edward, when two people -"

"No, I know that. It's just, I can't remember my parents. I mean, I remember my mother, sort of, but my father..." Edward trailed off, in thought. "There has to be two people; so how come I can't remember anything?"

"Edward, you're not making any sense."

Edward let out a resigned noise, and walked slowly towards the basin, to wash his face. He looked down and -

"WHAT THE DOG?"

The magical cat stared back up, into Edward's eyes.

"Why the puck are you everywhere I go?" Edward yelled in the cat's face.

"Language," the cat replied, raising a single eyebrow.

The cat untangled itself from the basin and stretched.

"Now, Edward, what is this I hear? You want to know where you came from? Hmmm..."

"Fuck off!"

The cat gave Edward a piercing, stern look, and looked as though it was determined not to drop its gaze.

"Look into my eyes, look into my eyes," the cat said quickly and rhythmically.

The cat clicked its fingers.

"And ... you're under. Let me take you back many years ago."

Edward slumped onto the edge of the sink and slid to the floor. His mind rushed back, his life passing through his mind. Images of his birth flashed by. He felt sick and closed his eyes. Suddenly he felt his body halt to a stop, and he cautiously opened his eyes.

Gleaming light struck him, and he gasped in shock and awe. Edward was in a brilliantly lit opera house. He looked down upon hundreds of people and the wide stage seemed far away. A large, golden five hung to Edward's left.

**Edward was in box five.**

**Two people sat gracefully poised; a beautiful woman with long, blonde hair, twisted up into a magnificent hairstyle with curls framing her placid, yet solemn face. She fanned herself continuously. A purple silken dress clung to her, and did justice to her beautiful, shapely frame.**

**Next to her, was a handsome young man, with bronze hair and brilliant green eyes. His tux made him look manly, yet sincere. He was staring down at the stage, waiting for the show to begin.**

Somehow, Edward knew that these two magnificent people were his parents ...


	2. Chapter 2

**"I've always loved Phantom of the Opera," Edward's mother spoke in a highly polished tone.**

"Indeed," his father replied.

After what seemed like hours, the thick, red, velvet curtains opened and the play began. A full ensemble began to play and the music made Edward's spirit soar.

Obviously, the twisting, wavering music had an effect on his beautiful parents. His mother's breath became laboured and his father put his hands to his face, his chest heaving.

"Oh, Gods!" Edward exclaimed.

No one heard him, as he was neither heard, nor visible to the eyes of the past.

"I'm going to murder that bastard of a magical cat!" Edward screamed.

Edward knew exactly what the cat had done: Edward was about to watch himself be conceived.

His parents stood up, their chests heaving. Edward closed his eyes as his parents sat on the floor of box five. He put his hands to his head and shook his head vigorously.

"NO, NO, NO!"

He tried to move, but his feet were plastered to the floor. His eyes flung open. The cat was forcing him to watch.

"Edward, you did say you wanted to know your parents," said the cat with obvious delight.

Edward's mother reached for his father, but he caught her hand and gave her a smouldering look.

"Not yet," he whispered.

Suddenly, both regained their composure and returned to their seats, but the air was thick with unspoken desire.

Edward felt himself relax and started to enjoy the dogness of the play, but still, he sensed that the best part of the show was still to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**Edward was in ecstasy. He thought Christine looked a bit old for seventeen, but all the same, her voice made him feel light-headed. Overall, the play had been excessively delightful.**

Edward tore his eyes away from the Phantom and at last, drank in the sight of the viewers. In box six, there sat an old, ugly, toad-like man.

Edward immediately became confused. "It can't... it can't be Andrew? Andrew Lloyd Webber? What the hell is he doing here? Wait... Phantom of the Opera came out in, what was it? The 80's or something. Why is it playing in 1900?"

The voice of the magical cat filled Edward's mind. "Oh yes, that's Andrew all right. He's a vampire, and has been for about 2000 years. He wrote Phantom of the Opera in the 19th century and it came out in the 20th century. No one liked it, thus Andrew performed some sweet forgetful magicks!"

"Um ... awesome?" Edward said.

**"I thought so," the cat smirked to itself. "Sit back and enjoy the show, Edward."**

Edward's soul began to flood with dread. A familiar, alluring tune was coming from the orchestra pit ... but he wasn't watching the play.

**He was the watching the most sexual tension-filled rendition of 'The Point of No Return' performed by his parents. But there, in the plush, secluded box, his parents were going ****_past_**** the ****point of no return.**

Laboured breathing once again reached Edward's ears. His eyes were wide open, courtesy of the cat, and the most hideous play was being performed, right there, in box five. Edward was being conceived.

On the stage, Christine and the Phantom were singing:  


**  
****_Past the point of no return,  
The final threshold,  
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn..._****  
**

**The music vibrated through Edward's body and for a brief moment, he forgot to watch himself being conceived. He lost himself, and his thoughts faded away. Sexual feelings built and no one but the pleasured Edward ghost knew what was happening in box five.**

His mother murmured under her breath, and at the sound, Edward was brought back to reality.

Christine was imagining her and the Phantom's bodies entwining, but what was happening in front of Edward was far beyond the soprano's** wildest fantasies. He stood and watched, transfixed. His original revulsion was beginning to melt away as the song began to reach its climax.**

Edward had always wanted to know his parents, and now, he truly knew them. He knew how passionately they had loved each other. They must have had the most amazing relationship, and it must have been heartbreaking for his mother when his father had died.

"Edward," whispered the cat, "it's time to return."

Edward took one last look at the orgasmic scene before him before letting the cat's magic take him ...


	4. Chapter 4

**Edward's body jolted on the bathroom floor, his legs flailing in the air.**

"Edward?" Bella's frightened voice forced Edward to open his eyes. His body relaxed.

"You've been asleep for hours."

"Well, the cat forced me to watch myself be conceived."

Bella almost burst out laughing, but quickly arranged her face to disgust.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," she moaned.

"Indeed," Edward replied, "however, at least I know who my parents were."

The magical cat scoffed at his words.

"What?" Edward asked, confused.

"Nothing," the cat lied.

"Tell me! Insolent fool!"

"Well..." the cat shook its head.

"Tell me, fucker."

"Language."

"Screw you."

"Language."

"I pucking hate you."

"Language."

"Argghhh."

"Hehehe," the cat giggled.

"Please," Edward forced a dazzling smile.

The cat sighed, "fine."

Edward stared at the cat, waiting.

"You're father was a prostitute, and you have many half siblings."

"Oh, LORDIE!" Edward exclaimed. "Are any of my siblings vampires?"

"Hell no. However, you did have approximately 50 of them."

"Well, thanks for bursting my bubble! I thought my parents were made of sweet dogness."

"Edward, no matter who you're parents were, you're still the most beautiful being in this world," Bella winked.

At this point, Edward was reminded of the breathtaking song, 'The Point of No Return'. Instantly, Edward was turned on, like a switch.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

Edward began to sing:

**  
****_Past all thought of 'if' or 'when,_**

No use resisting,

Abandon thought and let the dream descend.

What raging fire shall flood the soul?

What rich desire unlocks the door?

What sweet seduction lies before us...?

Past the point of no return,

The final threshold,

What warm unspoken secrets will we learn?

Beyond the point of no return.

**  
"Oh Gods," Bella whispered.**

"I know," Edward whispered back.

"Edward, I'm so turned on."

"Me too."

"Edward, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that we -"

"Shh," Edward pressed a single finger to Bella's lips. "Let us pretend that we are conceiving a child."

Edward swept Bella into his arms, leaving the cat in the bathroom, flabbergasted.  


**  
THE END**


End file.
